This is for you

Do you ever feel nervous walking into a networking event, almost as though you’re an alien of some kind, and you have to try and be accepted by the group before they find you out? Do you really hate networking?

I know for some people it’s no big deal, but those horrible networking nerves kept me away from live networking groups for years.

Why did I feel like that?

Little Girl Tugging at Adult Woman's Skirt - hate networkingAfter all, I had a lot of expertise and experience doing what I do, I was getting great feedback from clients, but somehow walking into a group like that had me feeling like a vulnerable 6-year old.

I remember how scary it felt to imagine that those little huddles of people could be whispering about me, saying nasty things, plotting to humiliate me and bring me down.

And I hear similar stories from clients all the time.

It didn’t make any logical sense at all

Until I realised that the child versions of me that had changed schools, and towns and friendship groups umpteen times as I grew up, had been coming along to networking meetings with me.

It wasn’t a great idea to have them representing my business!

I hated networking

Yet over time those versions of Younger Me have grown to trust that Adult Me can handle the grown-up stuff, and can handle it so much better when they don’t try to get involved, though occasionally they do still get ‘triggered’ and try to get my attention to stop me going.

When that happens, I celebrate that here are some more parts of me that have been holding me back and are now coming up into conscious awareness for healing.

Then I tap with them and give them some new information and either invite them to run off and play, or find another, more empowering and more fun way to help me feel safe to move forward.

If you hate networking, this could be an important piece for you

Tune in for a second to what it feels like as you enter the room and see the group gathered there.

What’s happening in your body and how old are you feeling inside?

Say hello to Younger You and tell her it’s ok, she doesn’t need to worry about this anymore, you’re all grown up now and you can handle the grown-up stuff like running your business.

Do some tapping with her until she’s happy to run off and play. Then tap in some positive choices around enjoying meeting people, finding out what they do and letting them know what you do, remembering that it’s just a conversation and you’re not trying to sell to anyone in the room, merely establish relationships with like-minded business people who can support and encourage each other along the way.

Over to you

Do you have any tips to share that help you feel more relaxed in those situations? We’d love to hear them. Please leave your comments below.

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Happy tapping! And happy networking 🙂

 

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6 Comments on Hate networking?

  1. Thank you Linda for sharing. I particularly enjoyed reading how connecting with the inner child can prove helpful. ‘Networking’ isn’t my preferred style either (I’m an ‘introvert’ and working a crowd doesn’t come naturally). That said, I enjoy connecting one-to-one or could quite happily present to hundreds of people. To break into a crowd I find engaging with one person initially works for me. When part of a crowd myself, I am acutely mindful of other ‘introverts’ and work hard to be welcoming to those arriving alone. This is a great blog highlighting something I’m sure many will experience and yet few may admit.

  2. Great post Linda! I’m very familiar with this feeling of fear approaching networking, where my little girl would rather run for the hills! I’m still much more comfortable one to one, but I find bringing out my internal nurturing mother figure (who I call ‘Earth Mother’) really helps to calm me down!
    I’ve had a go at tapping and that’s really helpful too!
    Ann Brown recently posted…Why It’s OK To Be A Tortoise (And Not A Hare)My Profile

    • Thanks Ann – I wanted to ‘out’ myself on this as I think it’s a very common feeling that people feel compelled to conceal, in the mistaken belief that they’re alone in feeling it :-).

      There’s nothing wrong with you, folks. Just some younger versions of you that need a little tlc and permission to go off and play!
      Linda recently posted…SHE WAS BRAVE FOR THEMMy Profile

    • Totally agree, Lesley, finding the right networking events where ‘your people’ are gathered is a crucial part of the mix. When I first started out I tried a few rapid-fire, early morning breakfast meetings where no-one appeared to be listening to anyone else, and it put me off for a very long time.
      Linda recently posted…HOW TO STOP PUSHING MONEY AWAYMy Profile

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