How do you find the right words?

It’s a question I hear all the time from clients when I’ve given them specific targets for homework tapping, and one of the quickest and easiest to answer:Right Words in a ball

Simply tell the truth of how you FEEL

Tell the truth of how you feel and give a voice to the parts of you that are feeling scared or triggered in some way. It’s as simple as that.

Is it really that easy?

Yes it is!


Strange as it may seem, I don’t have access to a secret recipe that makes Tapping more effective – though I do have years of experience working in the field and can quickly and easily spot an unhelpful pattern of thinking and feeling, and offer an effective reframe.

But getting too caught up with the words is actually counter-productive. It takes you OUT of the energy in your body and back up into your head, into your logical conscious mind, which is not where the blocks are.

That’s why it’s a particular challenge for the super-intelligent or perfectionists among us, because the default strategy is to take everything up into the head and start searching for explanations and solutions there. But as Albert Einstein said, ‘No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it’. So please stop trying!


What really matters is that you are in the FEELING, in the energy of the words, as you tap. And if you’re in an intense feeling, you won’t need any words at all.

Clearly words are essential in a session so the practitioner knows where you’re at and what you’re dealing with, and where you’re going with it. (You’d be surprised just how quickly that cunning old subconscious emotional mind can deflect you onto another issue entirely if it spies a seemingly unsafe change ahead šŸ™‚ )


In a session I’m simply delivering back to the client the words they give me – and their words are always best because they express precisely what you’re thinking and feeling in that very moment in time.

Which is how the Tapping does its magic.

So don’t overcomplicate things and let the fear of ‘getting it wrong’ or ‘not knowing what to say’ hold you back and stop you from using this brilliant tool for self-empowerment, because the only way to get it wrong is not to use it at all!

Keep it simple

Tune in to what bothers you, notice what thoughts are rattling around inside your head, notice where you feel any resistance or contraction in your physical body, then tap around the points as you give a voice to those feelings – and let Tapping do the heavy lifting.

Let Tapping work its magic

Of course there’s far more that’s possible when working with the guidance of an experienced professional who knows the shortcuts and can offer a new perspective. A fresh pair of eyes on our story can help to shift things so much more quickly and effectively than working alone.

But used in this very simple, basic manner, Tapping will work some magic for you. Your nervous system will start to calm down, allowing the blood to come back to your forebrain, putting your mind into a more resourceful space, where opportunities and creative solutions that are there all along suddenly become visible to you for the very first time.


Are you tapping regularly or does the fear of getting it wrong stop you? Have you been struggling to know what to say?

There’s no shame in it if you have, it’s something all Tappers have struggled with at some point.

Or maybe you have a different strategy to make your Tapping effective?

Please share with us in the Comments below, we’d love to know.

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Happy Tapping!

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3 Comments on “How do I know what to say when I’m tapping?”

  1. Thanks, Linda, for the helpful tips and reassurance you provide in this article! Question for you. I’ve heard some EFT coaching that starts with the thought of issue and then switches to the reframed way of thinking. When do you switch from the feeling or issue to the reframing or am I missing something?

  2. Great question, Pam.

    Whether you’re tapping by yourself or with a practitioner, it’s always important to stay with the issue and tap to acknowledge any negative feelings it evokes until your nervous system has calmed down sufficiently to allow your mind to go to a more resourceful space.

    If you’re tapping alone it’s at this point that ‘reframes’ previously masked by the emotional disruptions will suddenly hove into view.

    If you’re tapping with a practitioner they will be able to introduce reframes that you wouldn’t necessarily see for yourself because you’re too close to the issue. This is why I have regular sessions with a practitioner to help me continue clearing my ‘stuff’ (technical term).

    For the practitioner, knowing when to introduce a reframe in a session is an art as much as a science and an instinct that develops with experience and over time.

    Hope that answers your question – feel free to drop me a comment below if you’d like further clarification.
    Linda Anderson recently posted…Hidden blocks to money – a refusal to be richMy Profile

  3. Thanks, Linda, for the response and wisdom! Yes, that makes complete sense. I’m thinking having a practitioner is definitely the way to go, at the very least, at the beginning. I tried doing it myself and my brain went blank! LOL!

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