If you’re anything like me, you’ll have times when you feel really frustrated with yourself – you know, like when you just can’t get your newsletter written and published on time?

Every time you sit down to write, those Little Voices start up in your head with the same crackly old recordings:

‘Who do you think you are?  Who’s going to listen to you? You don’t have anything interesting to say.  No-one’s going to read it anyway, why are you even bothering?’

All the usual old BS …  

“Oh no” I hear you cry, “here we go again!”

“I’ll never be able to do this.  I’m just useless!  Why can’t I get myself to do this?  Other people are doing it, I should be able to do it.  What is WRONG with me? I can do anything when I put my mind to it – so why can’t I do this?  There must be something wrong with me.”

Little girls waiting
My Inner Team (SheltieBoy)

It’s tempting to push the Little Voices away and say “Just shut up and leave me alone, I’m doing this anyway, whether you like it or not”.

Big mistake!
Have you ever noticed how the harder you try to shut them up, the more strident and insistent they become?

It’s exhausting and if it goes on long enough, can easily turn into :

“I guess I’m not cut out for self-employment. I’m really tired of it all, I can’t be bothered anymore, it’s too hard.  Maybe I should start looking for a job.”

What if there was another way to look at this?

What if, when a wave of self-doubt hits:
  • It’s a sure sign that you’re on the right track?
  • It means you’ve located the edge of your Comfort Zone, which is also the gateway to experiencing more of Who You Really Are?
  • Everything you ever dreamed of and wanted for your business and your life is the other side of that gate?
  • It means you’re about to grow (unless, of course, you allow all those critical Little Voices to stop you)?

Actually all the Voices have a positive intent.  They’re a part of you and responsible for your survival, so if you seem to be trying to sack them, then of course they have to make even more noise to get your attention.

What if you stopped trying to sack them?

Given that they’re your Inner Team (and sorry folks, you can’t sack them even if you want to), why not treat them the way you would your Outer Team?

Give them some space, give them some respect, invite their in-put.  Tell them you’re actually ready to listen, and then find out what they’re trying to get for you.

Most of them are under 6 years old

And desperately in need of a more adult perspective.  Once you’ve heard them out, you can give them some new information, update them with some inspiring new beliefs.

Explain that you respond so much better to encouragement than criticism.

Then negotiate a more enjoyable, empowering way they could help you to move forward.  They’ll be so grateful to you.

Add some EFT/Tapping to the mix and get them on board with your vision – you’ll be unstoppable when you do.

Heard any Little Voices lately?

What did you do with them?  We’d love to know – please share in the Comments below.

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12 Comments on Self-Doubt Can Be A Wonderful Thing

  1. Hey Linda,

    Great topic!

    I have self-doubt on pretty much anything I do for the first time – a new programme, guest post, talk.

    My main way to deal with that is to use past evidence. I have files on my computer with feedback from previous programmes, guest posts and talks so I can say to the Little Voices, “Even though we haven’t done THIS talk before, we’ve done these other 100 and on the whole they went down pretty well. There’s no reason why this shouldn’t be the same. And if it isn’t? We’ll learn something cool for next time.”

    It’s useful to remind those Little Voices that this one blog post, or one course, doesn’t make or break us.

    And yes, it’s very much like how I’d talk with my little niece or nephew (aged 3 and 5) – empathetic and reassuring.
    Corrina Gordon-Barnes recently posted…Whose website is this?My Profile

  2. Great perspectives you offer on these ‘Little Voices’ – love the naming of them too Linda!

    Yes, they can be pervasive and destructive – if we let them – and great to know that we’re always in charge and can view them as ‘LIttle Voices of Wisdom’ or ‘Little Voices that are letting me know I”m heading in the right direction’.

    If I listen really carefully, I often discover that they are actually giving me grief because they’re reminding me not to work so hard!
    Chloe O’Sullivan recently posted…ARE YOU ‘SH****ING’ ALL OVER THE PLACE? 3 STEPS TO BREAKING THE HABIT.My Profile

  3. Linda, I love your post, and the way you describe these ‘Little Voices’. It’s so true that they do tend to come out when we’re at the edge of our comfort zone, or ‘learning edge’, and that beyond that edge is ‘growth’ territory.
    We all have to go through that ‘gateway’ if we’re going to become Who We Really Are.
    I learned long ago that ignoring the voices only makes them shout louder !
    It’s respectful and honouring to listen to their concerns, and then ask for what they’re ‘really’ wanting for us.
    The challenge is to catch them talking, so we can have that discussion, instead of sinking under the weight of their ‘negativity’ and staying in the safety of our comfort zone !
    Great post, thankyou !
    Ann Brown recently posted…When Is It OK To Break The Rules?My Profile

  4. The thing that helps me drown out the little voices (and for that matter the big ones as well) is reconnecting with my daring, ‘I shouldn’t really say this but oh well, I’m gonna’ voice.

    • Hi Rona

      Sounds like a great plan and it works for me sometimes.

      Do you have any tips for reconnecting when the Little Voices are just too loud and insistent? Personally I tap and talk to them, but am always keen to explore new ways of handling the little blighters.
      Linda recently posted…HOW TO STATE YOUR PRICE CONFIDENTLYMy Profile

  5. Hello Linda,
    Great post and very honest too especially in regards to coming face to face with with what one’s feeling and being open to accept all that is present. I think it helps to face the ‘demons’ and be honest with where one is, and even if those self sabotaging behaviors turn up, they are there to guide us forward into our best self. Facing the ‘demons’ only gets us deeper into our desires and who we truly desire to be.
    Thank you and a true pleasure to meet you. xx
    With love and joy
    Ana
    Ana Goncalves recently posted…Guidance of the Week – Rediscover your JOYMy Profile

    • Hello Ana

      Many thanks for dropping by and leaving your comments. I see we are on the same path and on the same page!

      Absolutely, it does help to face the ‘demons’. And they’re actually not demons at all, just the wounded Younger Versions of Ourselves that have been trying to keep us away from harm. Listening to their concerns and up-dating their beliefs from an adult perspective allows us to step into more of Who We Really Are.

      It’s a pleasure to meet you too 🙂
      Linda recently posted…THESE CREATURES LIMIT YOUR SUCCESSMy Profile

  6. Wow! This is so powerful. I’ve been waiting for that voice to go away before moving forward and now know it will always be there It keeps me stuck.

  7. Hi Phyllis

    Yes, isn’t it a relief to know that even though the little voices are always going to be there, they don’t have to keep us stuck – and in fact can become powerful allies in helping us move forward?

    (Apologies the delayed response by the way. I attempted to log a reply late one night whilst on holiday in France but clearly it either got lost in cyberspace, or I had a bout of ‘fat fingers’ on the iPhone. Probably the latter – and too much vin rouge 🙂 )
    Linda recently posted…SHE WAS BRAVE FOR THEMMy Profile

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