Ever found yourself working with someone, knowing they could be getting so much more out of your work together but somehow it’s just not happening for them? So you think you should have done better?

Sun Waving Goodbye - should have done better


So you don’t ask for a testimonial when they reach the end of your programme, you wish them well and simply wave them goodbye with all kinds of doubting thoughts in your head every time you think of them?


Little Voices saying:
  • I should have done better
  • They didn’t get what they needed
  • I dread to think what they’re saying about me
  • I doubt I’ll hear from them again
  • I hope I don’t bump into them at that networking meeting
  • Blah blah blah blaaaaaargh!
Sound familiar?

I’ve been around long enough to recognise that when I hear those Little Voices it has nothing to do with my (now ex-)client, it’s my own lack of self belief being triggered. And it’s time to tap 😉

How do I know that?

Clients have contacted me months later to thank me for the difference our work together has made in their lives.

Clients’ family members have said ‘you’re something of a hero in our family – you’re the one who made my Dad/Mum/partner/child so much easier to live with’.

Top level coaches have said the ‘expert call’ I ran for their VIP programme, which I was so nervous about, is top of list to mail out to new members because it’s so powerful.

Was I confident about the value I delivered before I heard it from the horse’s mouth?  No, absolutely not.

If you’re feeling stuck in that self-doubting place

Next time you finish working with someone who hasn’t made the progress you wanted for them, try listening in to your self-talk and then choose another perspective.

Be open to different explanations, including that they actually benefitted a lot and really appreciated your work together!

Tapping is my No.1 way to address the self-doubts, but here’s a few more suggestions you can implement straight away that might help:

  • Get yourself out of the way before a session and release any attachment to the outcome
  • Trust the Universe has brought you together for a reason and even if they don’t appear to be getting what you think they need, they are in truth getting exactly what they need
  • Remember they have all their own answers and any transformation or healing that takes place comes through you, not by you
  • If you claim responsibility for their failures, you must also claim responsibility for their successes – which disempowers them and puts you in an untenable position. It’s an illusion, you are not and never can be responsible for anyone else’s process
  • Be grateful for the opportunity to connect with this amazing Being and play a part in their journey back to wholeness
  • Recognise that your job is simply to show up with all your gifts, brilliance, knowledge, intuition and wisdom, and hold the space for transformation to occur. Get yourself out of the way and clear the channels for this to happen, in whatever form it needs to take
Over to you

Do you recognise the picture I’m painting?

What do you do to get yourself out of the way?  We’d love to know.

Please share in the Comments below.

And if you need some help tackling the Little Voices

Go here now and apply for one of the free Discovery Sessions I offer each month. In the session I’ll help you get complete clarity on your vision of success on your terms, where you’re holding yourself back and what you can do to move beyond the blocks, so you can create a business and life you love.

It’s completely free of charge and without obligation – so you have nothing to lose but your blocks!

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8 Comments on Should have done better …

  1. Great post Linda,& something I’m sure lots of people can identify with, I certainly can.
    Your points that resonate with me the most are to get out of my own way & let go of the outcome. Also to remember that it’s the client’s responsibility to get results, not mine.
    Rather than making assumptions, I think it’s also always worth asking for feedback from clients, then you’ll find out definitely what they think, remembering that it’s only feedback and I have a choice whether or not to accept it.
    lesley pyne recently posted…What would help you most?My Profile

  2. You must have been in my head earlier this week Linda. Yes it is so easy to listen to the Voices – it’s one of the reasons I love my work … it involves creating something. Because then even if the biggest changes are really on the inside, I still get to see change and for me that is huge.
    Donna recently posted…Are you punishing your house?My Profile

    • Hey Donna

      Yes, isn’t it amazing how other people’s heads have pretty much the same content as our own? 🙂

      I can see why you love your work – getting to see evidence of inner change on the outside. I agree, the outer world is a reflection of what’s going on inside and I’m just beginning to discover that it works both ways! I.e. if I commit time to clearing my physical space, I have soooo much more space inside. I love your latest post which is a great illustration of that.
      Linda recently posted…6th Annual Tapping World Summit is coming!My Profile

  3. I absolutely resonate with this – especially in my early Scarletta days. One of my friends said to me to start thinking like a personal trainer at the gym, I can only do and share so much with clients but ultimately it is their choice to take on board our work together. And if they decide to buy chocolate and sweets on the way home there is absolutely nothing I can do about it. It helped changed my perspective and if I know myself I’ve done my best then it helps banish the niggles as you’ve mentioned in the post! Thanks Linda

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