… and a hidden vow against Money

Man pushing Money awaySupporting clients in clearing their blocks to money and success is one of my favourite things to do – in fact I’d do it even if no-one paid me (but shhhh, don’t tell anyone!).

Here’s a pattern I see all the time working with clients, particularly if their family struggled to make ends meet  
An unconscious vow to ‘Be loyal to my family of origin and never to surpass my tribe’.

It’s a vow that puts a cap on your income and leaves you feeling guilty about earning money for something that feels fun and easy for you to do.

We take it because when we’re small and completely dependent on our caregivers, we have to fit in and remain a part of that family unit for our very survival.

Try this

If you want to explore for yourself, here’s an easy exercise:

  1. Take a moment and visualise your ‘Palace of Possibilities’, a concept created by EFT Founder Gary Craig to represent the infinite possibilities available to us in our lives all the time
  2. Imagine entering the Palace and finding the room that contains all your current beliefs around Money***
  3. Notice what the Palace and that room are like

***You can use the same process for any area of life, e.g. for romantic relationships, life purpose, career, health etc

What I found

My Palace is beautiful, peaceful, with many rooms and courtyards, fountains, flowers and birds, but the money beliefs room is a dusty prison cell with debris on the floor and a small barred window set high up. The door is already ajar (phew!).Prison bars and blue sky

Inside I have a strong sense of a long line of ancestors who have lived here in poverty consciousness, many of them never more than a few pennies away from losing their homes and families.

Graffiti on the walls declare ‘You’re born, you work hard and struggle, then you die’, ‘It’s hard to get money and you have to fight to keep it’, ‘There’s never enough’, ‘People like us don’t have businesses’, ‘There’s always more going out than coming in’, ‘You’ll never be able to get ahead’ etc etc.

I knew it was time to leave the room

At the same time I felt a huge amount of sadness for everything my family had been through in the past and a feeling of guilt. Why should I be the lucky one to get out of jail?

It seemed important to honour them before I could move on and be free to choose my own empowered relationship with Money.

I whitewashed the walls, put matting on the floor, brought the window down to eye level, removed the bars, put some flowers and candles around the room, and spent a few moments there acknowledging all their hard work and struggles. I also felt grateful I could now see a way to healing my relationship with Money, bringing it up into my heart, where it belongs.

Make Magic

For me this is ‘The Shift’, where the real magic happens – when we move our relationship with Money, and many other things, up from root chakra/survival/poverty consciousness, where they’ve been stuck for millennia, and up into the heart where Money can be welcomed as its True Self, a token of value, love and appreciation.

I get a sense that all the rooms of the Palace are filled with Love. As is the prison cell, but I hadn’t been able to connect with it there because the fear of lack had closed my heart.

Over to you

Try the exercise and let us know what you find.

Perhaps you’re already aware of a sadness and compassion for your family and this vow really resonates with you?

Perhaps there’s a part of you that believes that allowing yourself to be happy and successful now, doing something you love, would somehow be abandoning them (your tribe of origin) and leaving them to their fate? Please leave us a comment below.

If you found this useful and want more

Grab a free copy of my free Money Blocks Quiz, and discover your hidden blocks to money and success. It only takes minutes to complete and will give you clarity on where you’ve been blocking money and why, so you’ll know what you need to work on to clear the blocks and open the floodgates to abundance!

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12 Comments on Survivor’s guilt

  1. Also Wow Linda.
    What a brilliant and straightforward exercise. I knew that our relationship with money (like may things) could be inherited but until I heard to speak recently I hadn’t really fully taken it on board. So thanks so much for raising that awareness and for pointing out that I have a choice.
    Lesley Pyne recently posted…Men and Women discussing childlessnessMy Profile

  2. Great post Linda! Thankyou for sharing your story so openly, and I can totally relate to this because I have a similar history in my family of origin. It’s a revealing exercise, that’s for sure. I found my palace was warm and bright with huge windows and lots of richly coloured soft furnishings, but the money room is a cold, dark damp tiny room in the basement, that I try to avoid going in.
    Money in my early family meant struggle and hardship and ‘never enough’, and it is hard to break free of that unless we also honour the experiences and the reality of those we love from our past.
    I will share this post so that others can also benefit from your wisdom and skills! 🙂
    Ann Brown recently posted…You Are Not Your Business (And Why That Matters)My Profile

  3. Hi Linda

    I did this – my money room is dusty, there’s not much money in it, and asking for some is taboo. What little money there is, is placed in glass cases, unattainable.

    I’m going to let that awareness sit with me for a while, and see what comes up. Thank you!

    Jenny x

  4. Wow, Linda – does this ever ring a loud, clear bell!
    “move our relationship with Money, and many other things, up from root chakra/survival/poverty consciousness… into the heart where Money can be welcomed as it’s True Self, a token of value, love and appreciation.”

    What a basic-to-the-bone shift that is!

    Thank You!!!
    Karen J recently posted…Let the Day Begin – any time of day!My Profile

  5. Yes!!!! I sooo relate to this. I uncovered a hidden belief that I have guilt if I feel I’m doing better than my family. They are good people who have had nothing but rotten luck and money difficulties… I noticed guilt crop up if I could see a possibility things in my business could thrive… Love the Palace of Possibilities and will give it a try..

    • Wonderful that you’re aware of the guilt, Lisa – it often gives rise to an unconscious need to punish ourselves by sabotaging success, so bringing it up into conscious awareness is an important step.

      Do come back and share what you find in your Palace of Possibilities, if it feels appropriate.
      Linda recently posted…Please don’t read all of this …My Profile

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